Royal Ramblings

Once Upon A Time there was a –

Seriously? Are we really going through this again? Don’t you think the whole “Once upon a time” thing is starting to get a little old?

First off, it isn’t ‘Once upon a time’ it’s ‘Once Upon A Time. Get it right. Secondly, this is how most proper fairy tales start. I wouldn’t know how to start it any other way.

Okay, what makes you think that my story is going to be a proper fairy tale? I mean, look at me. Do I look like a proper princess to you?

Er, well no. But –

So why I would want my story told like the others? Sitting around, singing as I wait for my prince to come? No thank you. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that men are always late. And time’s ticking mister - er ma’me, giant narrator voice person. You may not know how to start off the story but I do.

Are you firing me?

Well, I was actually only going to suggest you take a break as my story probably won’t take that long…but what the hell sure. You’re fired. Go do some radio commercials or something.

Fine! I don’t need to be here anyway! I have loads of places that need me! Proper princes and princess who wait for months for me to help them with their story. But no…I only came here as a favor to your mother and this is the thanks I get? Next time I oughta tell her where to shove her golden roses…

So now that she’s finally gone, where were we? Oh right, I’m Rosaline Kingston, Princess Rosaline Daniella Kingston actually but you can call me Rosy. Everyone does, except for my mother who claims the name Rosy is too plain. But I like it and that’s what I want everyone to call me, you hear that Mother?

Where was I? Right, a princess. So yes, I’m a princess and my parents own a kingdom. But before you get all high pitched and excited I should warn you that our kingdom is much smaller then other kingdoms. The smallest actually. Okay, it would probably only take you twenty minutes to reach each side but it’s still a kingdom nevertheless!

I guess you can already tell I’m not exactly your typical princess so we can skip all those informalities. If you haven’t guessed it…then yeah I’m not. I don’t sew, I don’t sing, don’t ask me to cook (unless what you want to eat is boiled water, then I’m your girl!), and animals tend to bite me. A lot.

But the most important thing is that I don’t wait for my prince to come. I go searching for him. And fight for him when I find him. Especially when my stupid cousin Christina tries to get her claws into him. Because I know, as well as any other woman out there, royalty or not, that if you find such a perfect guy, you’ve got to do all you can to keep him. Even okay ones are pretty rare. Talk about a needle in the haystack. Try field of hay.

But the funny thing is, even though I’m not a typical princess…in the end, I still achieved my happily ever after. Even though sometimes it feels like I’m just settling. Especially when he starts to drive my nerves by calling me Rosaline to annoy me, but overall we’re happy. I guess when it comes down to it, as long as you strive to be happy you can be. Princess or not.

But if you would, read my story so my mother could be happy. She still hopes that I would become a great princess someday. I don’t want to disappoint her so I often pay people to come and pretend to ask about my story. But…the bills do tend to pile up after a while and keeping up a castle ain’t easy you know.

To help out Rosy, read her story here

! Read more